


Blurred lines

by Sydbond



Series: Softer [5]
Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Jalton, the cabin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydbond/pseuds/Sydbond
Summary: Jaz ends up at the last place she would have thought: the cabin





	1. Texas

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is guys! The cottage scene that you asked for (might I say relentlessly). Hope you like it :)
> 
> Oh and NSFW, you've been warned.

Kate is the one who picks her up from the airport. The similarities with Elijah are so powerful Jaz has to concentrate real hard on her breathing as she sets eyes on her. She has the same dimpled smile that he had on his face when his lifeless body fell on her. For a moment, Jaz wonders if this was a good idea, coming back here.

She has been traveling all over the country, visiting Preach and McG, roadtripping with Amir. She did everything she could not to think about Top. About the way they leaned a bit too much on each other back at the hospital.

When Elijah’s parents extended an invitation to come for a bit when she was on leave, her first instinct was to decline. Jaz knows she’s running from her feelings, but seeing Kate makes her realize this might do her more good than she expected.

‘‘Hey you,’’ says Kate, wrapping her in a warm embrace. They’re standing under a huge banner that welcomes travelers to the Lone Star State and Jaz can’t help but smile. Everything is bigger in Texas. Just like Elijah.

They drive back to the Vallins family home and Jaz gets lost in the flurry of welcomes. Later that night, they eat brisket because it’s her favorite. The attention brings tears to her eyes and she’s grateful the sunset doesn’t bring enough light in for it to be obvious. They retreat on the porch afterwards, and Jaz relaxes for the first time in a long time. There’s sweet tea and freshly baked cookies and she can’t help but feel that this is what family should look like. If she’d had that kind of childhood, maybe she wouldn’t be so scared of imagining herself having kids. It may also have to do with the fact that in her head, those kids always seem to look a lot more like her captain than she would like to admit.

‘‘So honey, what’s new with the team?’’ asks Martha, Elijah’s mother.

She wants to tell them how she got captured in Tehran, how her guys rescued her and how she thought she would never live to see another sunrise until Dalton got her out of that van. She wants to tell them about Hoffman, his mind games and the way he saw right through her. But she can’t. It’s classified and it would only worry them more. So she settles for a half truth. She tells them about Amir and his cooking, McG’s antics and Preach’s wise words.

‘‘What about Dalton?’’

Jaz gets noticeably redder when Top’s name is mentioned. She purposefully decided not to include him in her stories, mostly because she knows her feelings for him are written plainly on her face when she talks about him.

‘‘He’s good,’’ she says and Martha and Kate share a knowing glance. Jaz clears her throat. ‘‘He’s got a dog now, Patton. Untamable little beast,’’

 

xxxxx

 

Jaz is not religious by any means, but the Vallins are weekly churchgoers so on Sunday morning, she puts on the nicest clothes she has and gets downstairs.

‘‘What are you wearing?’’ asks Kate, still eating her breakfast at the counter.

‘‘Church clothes,’’ says Jaz, glancing down at her outfit. She has on her nicest slacks and a formal-ish top that doesn’t display too much cleavage.

‘‘You can’t wear that,’’ says Kate who seems to take pity on her because she puts her spoon back in her cereal bowl and tugs Jaz back upstairs. ‘‘I’ll lend you some of my stuff,’’

Elijah’s sister digs an outfit from the back of her wardrobe and Jaz can’t believe what she sees in the mirror. If the guys could see her dressed like that, they would laugh at her for days. It’s a simple dress that hits the knee, elegant enough to be on the cover of a magazine, but it’s something Hannah would be wearing. It’s not something Jaz, with her usual array of wife beaters, would buy in a store.

‘‘And pearls, don’t forget the pearls,’’ says Kate and Jaz looks on silently as a string of pearl gets fastened around her neck.

The Vallins are obviously overjoyed to have her back home- as they say- and they drag her to everyone they know at church, talking on and on about Sweet Jaz who used to work with brave Elijah, rest his soul.

She sits next to Kate during the service, listening to the preacher going on about love and forgiveness. He mentions something about seeing those you love in heaven and Kate grabs Jaz’s hand at that, squeezing hard.

After service comes a barbecue and everyone lingers around in their nice clothes, waiting for the food to be done. She’s not really surprized when he finds her and makes a show of greeting her.

‘‘Jazzy, ‘‘ says Lance, twirling her around before setting her back on her feet. She’s not used to wearing heels and she has to lean on him to gain back her footing and it makes him grin. ‘‘You’re back home, ‘‘

From the corner of her eye, Jaz can see Martha and David smiling at the two of them. Lance and her had been casually dating during the last two leaves when she’d come to Texas with Elijah. Just like Elijah had been, Lance is an Army Ranger. Armed with buckets of charm and killer looks, he’d managed to get a date out of her. That date had turned into a few more, but they’d always known it was a casual thing. Jaz might have known her heart was pining for Top, it didn’t mean she was against having a little fun, especially when this little fun happened to be great in between the sheets.

‘‘You look stunning,’’ he says and she can’t help but feel warm and cozy as she stares into his eyes. It’s not love but if feels like home. ‘‘Let me take you out, tomorrow night,’’  
Jaz opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. It feels wrong to go out with Lance when her heart is already taken.

‘‘She’d love to,’’ Kate says from behind Jaz. The sniper turns her head to Kate, who smiles at her encouragingly. Suddenly, Jaz remembers why she came to Texas. To live a little. Maybe that date is exactly what she needs.

‘‘Alright,’’ she says and dazzling smile on Lance’s face almost blinds her.

‘‘Say seven? I’ll pick you up.’’ Jaz nods and Lance kisses her cheek before getting back to his family.

 

xxxxx

 

‘‘You look real pretty,’’ says Kate as she stands in the doorway. Jaz smiles at her before going back to putting on makeup. It’s been a long time since she dolled herself up, an even longer time since she did so for a man.

‘‘Thanks for lending me your dress,’’

‘‘Red looks good on you,’’ smiles Kate. Jaz glances down at the soft, airy fabric that moves with her. She feels feminine and it feels surprisingly good.

Her phone rings and she glances at the caller ID. Her heart skips a beat as she reads Adam’s name.

‘‘Do you mind?’’ asks Jaz and Kate goes back to her room, closing the door behind her.

Jaz stares at the phone, letting it ring two more times before answering.  
‘‘Hello?’’

‘‘Hey Jaz,’’

Jaz closes her eyes. Hearing Adam’s voice after all those weeks, it does something to her.

‘‘Hey Top,’’

He takes a pause before continuing. ‘‘So I hear you’re in Texas,’’

‘‘Yeah… it feels.. it feels good,’’ she says, glancing at her reflexion in the mirror. Her cheeks are flushed and she knows it’s not because of the heath.

He stays silent on the line for a minute and Jaz keeps the phone pressed to her ear, listening to the faint sound of his breathing. ‘‘You should come up here after,’’ he says and her heart lurches painfully.

‘‘What?’’ she asks in a little voice. Out of all the things she’d thought he would say, this is not even a close one.

‘‘Patton misses you,’’

‘‘Patton huh?’’ she says, not letting his shaky defense slide.

‘‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you visited everyone but me,’’

‘‘Maybe I’m saving the best for last,’’ she teases and Adam chuckles on the line.

In the driveway, Lance’s car pulls in and Jaz stares at her watch. He’s ten minutes early in an almost too predictable way.

‘‘Hey, I gotta go, I have a date and he’s here,’’ She can’t resist testing the waters, not when it’s Top. At night, laying down in Elijah’s bed, she keeps going back to their stargazing in Seville and the way he spilled out his guts to her after Colombia. She keeps hoping there might be something more between them, but she’s never sure.

‘‘Lance?’’ he asks, no doubt knowing his name after hearing it from weeks of Elijah’s teasing.

‘‘Yeah,’’ says Jaz and she waits for him to say something, anything that would indicate he’s jealous.

‘‘Call me tonight? After your date that is,’’ Top’s voice seems different in a way Jaz can’t pinpoint. Still, it’s not enough. Not after everything that happened between them this past week. Not after he almost slept with her when Preach was in the hospital.  
Jaz hears the doorbell ring and she hurries down the stairs, finding Lance already there, giving flowers to Martha. He looks good, better than good and she earned having a little fun.

‘‘I’ll call you tomorrow,’’

 

xxxxx

 

  
It has to be handed to Lance, he does all the right things. He tells her she looks beautiful in front of Elijah’s parents and how she looks sexy as fuck when they’re alone in the car. He opens the door of the car for her and pulls out her chair at the restaurant.

They talk all night, exchanging stories about their time in the army and he helps her remind Elijah without the pain she usually associates with her memories of him.  
Halfway through dinner she gets a text from Top and she can’t resist looking at it.

T-Don’t forget us Deltas are way better than Rangers ;)

It’s nothing big, but it makes her heart flutter. It also pretty much says that he is jealous and Jaz feels a thrill running through her.

Lance pays the tab and suggest going for a walk. They go besides the water, where the lights of the city are reflected in musty shapes. It’s romantic and beautiful and she lets him reach out for her hand. They keep talking about nothing and everything, simply content to enjoy that night. But when he leans down to kiss her, she feels uneasy.  
His lips brush over hers, softly at first, but then slowly turning it into what should be an all-encompassing kiss. He kisses her and it feels nice. But she doesn’t want nice. She wants heart wrenching and passion. She doesn’t want to be with somebody she could see herself living the rest of her life with. She wants to be with somebody she can’t see herself living without.

Lance knows it’s wrong the second he resurfaces.

‘‘I had to try,’’ he says, running a thumb over her cheek.

Her chest hurts and she feels heavy with emotions. Jaz never meant to lead him on, but it seems like she still did.

‘‘I’m sorry,’’ 

‘‘I know I’m not him,’’ he continues and she looks at Lance, not speaking. She doesn’t know what to say. Of course Lance knows she loves Adam. Everybody seems to know she loves Adam. Everybody but him. ‘‘But if it changes, give me a call?’’

Jaz laughs softly, wrapping her arms around his torso. ‘‘Will do,’’ she says and Lance wraps his arms tighter around her, resting his chin on top of her head.

 

xxxxx

 

The next day she says goodbye to Elijah’s family. She hasn’t been with them for long, but they seem to understand why she needs to do this. Kate drops her off at the airport and the two woman hug each other fiercely before Jaz disappears through the gates.

A few hours later, she’s leaving the Philadelphia International airport in a rental car, armed with a huge coffee and her GPS. In her duffle bag is the red dress she wore the night before, carefully wrapped to avoid any snags.

‘‘It looks better on you anyways,’’ had said Kate and Jaz had gratefully accepted the gift. ‘‘It’ll make his head turn on itself,’’

She certainly hopes the dress will help her. Adam has called, three times since that morning. Jaz stares at the road in front of her. She wants to talk to him, to tell him a million things, but she doesn’t know how.

Maybe she will when they’re face to face.

Patton greats her when she parks her rental next to Top’s pick-up truck. She smiles at the sight of the truck. Somehow, she always thought Top would be the kind of guy who had one of those.

‘‘Hey you! Missed me little brat?’’ she asks the dog, crouching to scratch him behind the ears. He barks at her for an answer and she laughs, scratching him harder.

‘‘Patton get back here,’’ says Adam’s voice. ‘‘Patton!’’ his tone is getting impatient and Jaz suddenly realizes Top probably didn’t see her car behind that monstrosity he calls a truck.

But then he makes his way to where they are and Jaz gets up. They hold each other’s glances for a moment and there’s nothing but silence.

Her heart beats so hard she’s afraid he might hear it. She exhales, trying to convince herself that it’s alright. This is why she came here. To test the waters. To see if those blurred lines should be discarded.

 

xxxxx

 

Adam can’t believe his eyes. She’s here.

At his cabin, in the middle of the woods, blissfully alone. Just the two of them. No Preach making knowing eyes behind their backs, no McG and Amir digging their noses in their business.

Adam and Jaz. Jaz and Adam.

That’s it.

She looks up at him, ignoring Patton who is clearly competing for her attention. ‘‘Hi,’’ she says softly.

‘‘What are you doing here?’’ It comes out more accusatory than he expected and he reaches for her before remembering he can’t.

He’s been thinking about Jaz since the moment she disappeared through the gates at the DC airport. Even in the middle of the woods he cant’t escape her. His mind has constantly been afloat with images of her, the sound of her laugh, the way she smiled at him when they were on the field.

‘‘I said I’d come,’’ she replies, huffing in a way that’s so Jaz he almost forgets how angry he was yesterday. When she talked about her date and, when pressed about whether she would call him back that night, told him she would get back to him the following day.

That meant she was not planning on leaving her date until the next morning.

Adam is not an idiot. He’s seen Jaz disappear enough times on nights off to know she doesn’t mind the occasional hookup. Hell, he’s seen McG rib her about hickeys more time than he can count. But knowing she was out with Lance the Ranger hurts more than it should.

They spent a lot of time together during that last deployment and somehow, he thought that it meant more than it did.

‘‘Didn’t you have a date?’’ he asks, unable to resist.

She shrugs. ‘‘Didn’t go as planned,’’

Adam scrutinizes her features, trying to find what exactly she means by that. When he finds himself hitting a wall, he bends down to grab her bag and gets back inside the cabin.  
Jaz follows him, hopping on the counter. Her movements are seamless, natural and it looks to Adam as if she should have been here all along. He starts the coffee machine and glances at her, leaning against the counter.

‘‘What happened?’’ he asks.

She lets out a sigh, but the she turns her eyes to his and what he sees in them is enough to make him freeze in place. He’s hooked, drunk on her as he waits for her answer.  
‘‘Everything was fine,’’ she starts, toying with the edge of her shorts. ‘‘But then he kissed me and-’’

‘‘Jaz,’’ he says because it pains him too much to hear about her kissing someone else.

‘‘Nothing,’’ she replies, keeping her eyes on him. ‘‘I felt absolutely nothing,’’

Adam stares as Jaz hops off from the counter. She moves closer to him and for the life off him he can’t keep his eyes off of her. ‘‘Because he wasn’t you,’’

She puts a hand to his cheek as she says so, soft fingertips against his beard. He doesn’t recoil like he should; instead he leans into her touch. Her big brown eyes keep holding on to his, willing him to remain with her.

They’ve kissed before. Four times exactly, but two of those kisses had been for mission purpose, nothing but a cover. The other two are still muddled in his brain, hovering between love and need and pain. This time it feels different.

Her body literally molds to his, arms snaking around his waist, bringing him so close there is not an inch of air between the two of them. Her lips are insistent, demanding and he smirks against them, knowing Jaz would of course be bossy in all things affectionate.

Adam kisses her back like there’s no tomorrow, backing her up against the counter, making her moan as he pushes his tongue inside of her mouth.  
‘‘Top,’’ she whispers as her fingers grip the hem of his t-shirt.

‘‘Adam,’’ he corrects and for a second she stops kissing him, raising her eyes questioningly to his. ‘‘Call me Adam.’’

‘‘Adam,’’ Jaz mutters. He loves the sound of his name on her lips. His mouth goes back for hers, his fingers wandering further up her shirt, dragging out shudders from her body.  
Her hair is tumbling down her back, catching the light of the midday’s sun, smelling that sweet-smelling smell he usually associates with Jaz. He inhales it and takes her in. This. Her.

Jaz with her kissed-stung lips and reddened cheeks, breaths coming out in puffs, desire clouding her eyes. It brings a wave of arousal straight to his groin to know he is the one responsible for her state. To know that he’s the one getting her undone.

‘‘This needs to go,’’ he says as he pulls her T-shirt over her head. He’s seen her dress and undress hundreds of times, but it’s always been quick and utilitarian, never this way. Adam takes his time, taking in the smooth skin, the small tattoo that runs from her neck to her shoulder, the way her perfectly round breasts perk over her bra.

‘‘You’re so beautiful,’’ he finally tells her, hands ghosting over her ribs, examining the way goosebumps erupt over her skin as he touches her. His mouth goes for her neck, licking the tattoo before getting lower.

‘‘Adam,’’ purrs Jaz as he nuzzles her breast and he smirks against her skin.

‘‘What, love?’’ he smirks against her skin.

She writes under him, caught between his body and the counter. Her voice comes out as desperate and it does little to quench the desire burning in him. ‘‘I need more,’’  
Adam unclasps her bra, going down all tongue and teeth on her nipples. ‘‘Like this?’’ he asks and she mumbles unintelligibly. He sucks and nips at the skin until it turns red while his fingers get to work on her shorts.

The button pops quickly and before Jaz has any time to react, Adam is down on his knees, staring at her, completely naked apart from the tiny string she decided to put on that morning just in case.

The sight of him, knees to the ground, mouth hovering over her throbbing core, does something to her and she grabs handfuls of his hair, whimpering in need. ‘‘You want that, right?’’ he growls, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He’s drunk on her, her smell, her skin, everything. And this time there’s no phone calls, no Quonset hut, no teammates that can hear them. 

‘‘Yes, Adam, please,’’ she begs as he peels off her underwear at a tantalizingly slow pace.

‘‘What do you need?’’ he asks and she shudders as he lightly presses his finger against her. It’s the barest of pressure, barely more than a tease, but it makes her hips jerk against him. ‘‘Tell me what you need Jazzy,’’

‘‘I need you to taste me,’’ her answer comes out in a breathy voice that’s more of a moan.

Adam’s mouth closes on Jaz, taking his time to undo her. He laps at her in a long stroke before settling on her clit, sucking hard. She jerks and pulls harder at his hair and he redoubles his effort, curling two fingers inside of her to push her over the edge faster.

He quickly feels the tell-tale flutter inside of her that tells him she is about to come. So he stops sucking for a second, looking at her as he growls a command. ‘‘Come for me, Jazzy.’’ Her grips on his hair tightens and she throws her head back, letting out a loud moan as she breaks.

When she comes down from her high, she grips at him until he rises. ‘‘Jesus, Adam. What have you done to me?’’

He pushes sweaty strands of hair from her face, laughing as their foreheads rest against each other’s. ‘‘I’m not done with you yet,’’ he says and his cock twitches in approval.

‘‘You’re going to be the death of me,’’ she laughs and her legs wobble.

‘‘Easy there,’’ warns Adam, grabbing her by the waist. ‘‘Bed?’’ he asks and she nods. He drags her to the bedroom, slapping her ass as she giggles.

Jaz tugs the rest of his clothes off with trembling fingers. It’s not uncertainty, but need that has her trembling. Adam can see it in her eyes, in the way she arches against him, how she glances hungrily at his cock.

‘‘I’m going to explode,’’ he says, stopping Jaz as she tries to bring his cock to her mouth. She whines at this, but he kisses her again and her protests are long gone.

Adam stretches over her, his body pining hers down on the mattress. Her knees cradle his waist and she rolls her hips so her core rubs on the length of him.

‘‘Jesus Jaz,’’ shudders Adam.

‘‘You got a condom?’’ she asks and he knows the time for teasing is over. Jaz needs him inside her.

‘‘Who do you take me for?’’ She laughs as he rolls down the condom, opening her legs for him. He stares at her, anticipation rising his pulse. She felt so tight clamping down on his fingers and he can’t wait to sink into her, hot and sleek and wet.

Jaz shakes as he approaches, barely containing herself. His hands run over her body, stopping at her hips.

‘‘What do you want me to do?’’ Adam smirks even though his voice comes out weaker than he expected.

‘‘I want to have you so deep inside of me you bottom out with every stroke,’’ Jaz replies, breathless.

‘‘Is that so?’’ Adam teases. His voice is needier than it should be.

‘‘Stop teasing me and just get to work,’’ she says, bossy as ever.

‘‘Yes ma ’mm,’’ he replies with a smile before plunging into her in one swift movement. She inhales sharply and Adam stops on the spot, making sure it was pleasure and not pain.

‘‘You ok?’’ he asks, fingers pulling back her dark hair to watch her face.

‘‘Mmh,’’ Jaz mumbles, voice wavering with need. She pushes against him, sinking herself deeper around him and he groans in the crook of her neck, pounding into her as she moans her approval, begging for more until she breaks apart in violent spasms.

Adam comes as she cries out her release and he holds onto her, steading her against his chest as he milks out the last of their pleasure in slow, shallow pumps.

‘‘I’m really glad you came,’’ he whispers against her neck, still not believing she’s actually here in his cabin. Not to mention she’s naked in his arms, body marked by his fingers and teeth. The territorial part of him purrs deep in his chest, glad to have her branded. 

‘‘Tell me about it,’’ she says, leaning down so she can kiss him.

‘‘How long are you staying?’’ asks Adam, because he’s sure this is too good to be true. She has to have some kind of thing to go to that’s more important than spending her days doing nothing in the middle of Pennsylvania.

‘‘As long as you’ll let me,’’ she huffs, eyes half-lidded, enjoying feeling this inhibited.

‘‘You know I’ll never tell you to leave,’’ he replies as his fingers brush her cheek.

‘‘Do you want me to stay?’’ asks Jaz, quirking an eyebrow. He can see her uncertainty through the sass. As if she’s still unsure she is wanted here.

‘‘Of course I do, what kind of question is that?’’

‘‘You’re the one asking when I leave,’’

‘‘I asked how long you were staying,’’ says Adam, glancing down at her worriedly.

‘‘Different phrasing that’s all,’’ she rolls her eyes, but the smirk on her lips tells a different story.

‘‘Jaz,’’

‘‘Adam,’’ Jaz humors him.

‘‘You know I care about you a lot more than I should,’’ he says as he nuzzles her neck. ‘‘And if you’re alright with this,’’ he motions between the two of them, ‘‘than there is nothing I would love more than for you to stay,’’

She kisses him, long and hard. ‘‘All this time with nothing but you and me in the middle of nowhere,’’ she says, voice laced with wonder.

‘‘I like the sound of that.’’ He really does. A safe place for the two of them. That’s exactly they need.

Jaz turns to him, an evil glint to her eyes. ‘‘Does that mean we can walk around naked?’’

Adam laughs and it’s been a long time since he’s laughed that freely. ‘‘Yeah, I guess so,’’


	2. Jenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Jaz get a special visitor at the cabin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was asked to write about what happened in that darn cabin and it turned out a lot fluffier than I expected, but really, I can't help it with the way those two look at each other ;) 
> 
> Oh and Amanda, you got your red dress :p

The sun has barely risen in the Blue Ridge Mountains and Adam is usually up by this time, but in the past weeks he has taken a liking to slow and lazy mornings. Maybe it’s because of the naked body he has been waking up next to lately.

He watches Jaz as she sleeps, looking way more peaceful than she truly is. It does something in him, knowing only he has witnessed this side of Jaz. Soft, undisturbed Jaz who likes to stretch her whole body into his when he nuzzles her neck.

« Morning, » she mumbles, a lazy smile on her lips. She opens her eyes, reaching behind her to cup his cheek.

« Morning, » he greets before attacking the side of her neck with kisses until he reaches her collarbone. He has learned it’s the easiest way to make her positively melt into him and she purrs as he does so, rubbing her butt against his cock, which is already very awake.

Adam knows they have been living in a delightful little bubble. It’s something idyllic and utopian, blissfully delicious and completely unreal. Soon enough they will be back in Turkey, and he’s not really sure what will happen. Both of them are currently very happy with denial.

His arm snakes around her waist, bringing her closer. He has come to love those lost hours spent in bed where the only thing on their mind is each other’s body.

« I think I love this cabin more and more every day, » Jaz declares, grinning as his lips move lower.

« I love your body more and more every day, » he whispers against her skin. His lips close on her nipple and she moans, digging her nails into his shoulders.

« Hello? Ad-am? »

Adam and Jaz freeze, the latter barely managing to pull the covers up to their necks before the woman whose calling for Adam appears in the doorway.

Jaz stares, wide-eyed at what she can only describe as a female version of Top. Long blonde hair, blue eyes and unmistakable Dalton-ish good looks, the girl opens her mouth and closes it several times before putting a hand to her eyes. 

« Sorry- I’ll just be in the kitchen… Do you like coffee? I bet you like coffee. I’m going to go make coffee, » she rambles before turning on her heels and Jaz faces Adam. 

« We’re screwed, » she mumbles, terrified. 

« It’s just my sister. I don’t know what she’s doing here, » replies Adam, putting on a pair of checkered pajama pants as he gets up. He leans over her side of the bed, kissing her quickly before he straightens up. « Put something on, I’ll go talk to her, »

He closes the door of their bedroom behind him, casting an inquisitive glance at his sister.

« What the hell Jen? » he asks and she gives him the innocent puppy look that used to work when she was eight. « I’m not buying that, » he adds in a stern voice.

Jenny’s face turns back to normal and she winks at her big brother « She’s cute. What’s her name? »

« Jen, it’s Jaz, » he says, rubbing his beard.

His sister’s eyes open wide. « That’s _the _Jaz? » she asks and he knows he’s made a mistake given the excited look on her face. « Your sniper? »__

__« Please don’t scare her away, » scolds Adam, looking sternly at Jenny._ _

__« Who do you take me for? » winks his sister, casting him a falsely insulted look. Adam raises an eyebrow and she relents. « Ok, I promise, »_ _

__« Why are you here anyways? » he crosses his arms over his chest, watching Jenny make coffee._ _

__« Oh you know, I needed some fresh air, » she says and Adam stares at her blatantly, clearly not buying her act. « I needed a break. Jeff has been Jeff like and I felt like seeing my big brother, »_ _

__Adam grows automatically concerned. Besides his team and Patricia, there are three people in this world he would do anything for. Jen is one of them, his other sister and her son the other two. But Jenny has always been good at deflection – a Dalton signature trait- and she smirks at him, jutting her chin in the direction of Adam’s bedroom._ _

__« So how long as she been staying here? »_ _

__« Five weeks, » he munches on his words, not liking the way her smirk stretches even wider._ _

__« Five whole weeks, really? Does the rest of your team know about this? »_ _

__Adam’s about to answer when Jaz enters the room. She’s thrown one of his shirt over a pair of running shorts, her hair in a messy ponytail and to Adam, she’s never looked as pretty. He knows it’s got to do with her in his clothes, standing in the middle of his cabin with his sister there. It’s Jaz, the girl who has come to be his home, meeting what used to be his everything. It’s past and present crashing together and he hopes it’ll end up in a tangible future._ _

__« I’m Jenny, » Adam’s sister introduces herself, reaching for Jaz. The latter looks a little cold, hands sticking to her sides as Jenny warmly throws her arms around the sniper. « Adam’s told me so much about you, » she smiles that mega-watt Dalton smile._ _

__If Jenny notices Jaz is uncomfortable, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she goes back to the coffee machine, occupying herself with filling Adam’s hunting-patterned mugs._ _

__Adam wraps an arm around Jaz’s waist and presses a kiss to her temple, feeling the emotions radiating from her. She’s nervous, he realizes. Nervous and a little fearful. Jaz doesn’t do strangers well, usually retreating to her old ways whenever she meets them. « She’s not gonna eat you, » he whispers to her ear, feeling her relaxing a bit in his arms. « Couldn’t wait to meet you, actually, »_ _

__« You talked about me? » Jaz asks and her big eyes look even darker at that moment._ _

__Adam nods. « I was conflicted. You were making me feel things and she was the only confidante I had, »_ _

__Jaz smiles ruefully at that and she settles deeper into his embrace. Adam kisses the top of her hair, trying to show her how much he loves her before she bolts out in fear._ _

__Love. That’s a dangerous thought. He catches himself thinking it more and more these days. In fact, he’s been starting to think about future times, about things he never thought he would want. Things he never thought he would deserve._ _

__« Cream? » asks Jenny, pulling Adam from his introspection._ _

__« A little bit, » nods Jaz, speaking in front of his sister for the first time. Jenny hands them a mug each and throws Jaz her most devilish smile._ _

__« So Jaz, tell me all about how you can outshoot my brother, »_ _

__

__xxxxx_ _

__

__« My brother never introduced us to any woman he ever dated, » Jenny says as she rubs the back of Patton’s ears. The dog rolls on his back to bare his tummy, obviously asking for even more attention._ _

__« We’re not dating, » Jaz replies automatically. It feels like when she hits someone creeping on her from behind, a protective reflex deeply ingrained._ _

__« Potato-potato, » Jenny waves off, still smiling._ _

__The two women are sitting on the cabin’s porch, watching the lake, just enjoying the eerie calm in this secluded place. They’re waiting on Adam to come back with food for lunch after Jenny insisted she and Jaz needed some gal time._ _

__Gal time is not something Jaz is familiar with, even something she usually avoids. But this is Adam’s sister and she has known for a very long time that she’d do anything for Adam._ _

__« You know, all my life Adam has been a stickler for rules, » It’s Jenny who breaks the silence and Jaz stares at the lake for a few seconds before clearing her throat and answering._ _

__« Top still is, » Or at least he used to. She’s not exactly sure what this elysian hide out of theirs actually is. Since they’re on leave, she also doesn’t really know if they are technically breaking any rules._ _

__« I love how you all call him Top, »_ _

__« Everybody was already calling him that when I joined the team, » Jaz shrugs. She takes another swipe of beer because it occupies her and Jenny is making her feel nervous._ _

__« I remember when he came back from his first deployment with you. Your name kept slipping into conversations. Callie teased him a lot about you, »_ _

__Jaz recognize the name of Adam’s other sister, the younger one who’s a teacher. Still, she shakes her head. « Like you said, he’s such a stickler for rules,»_ _

__« Which makes you very special, » replies Jenny and Jaz is suddenly remembered that the girl is older than her. She’s still in school, Adam talked about her teaching while earning her doctorate in history._ _

__Jaz hasn’t stepped into a school since her high school graduation. She didn’t have money for college and her meager savings had been enough to buy herself a one way ticket to basic training. She has spent years in warfields while Jenny has spend years in classrooms._ _

__Jaz isn’t sure which life equips them more for the trials she's about to face._ _

__She doesn’t answer, looking at Jeny as she waits for Adam’s sister to finish her train of thought. « If he’s willing to break the rules for anyone, it would be you, »_ _

__Jaz shakes her head, unconvinced. « This, » she starts, gesturing for the cabin « is nothing. It’s a bubble, nothing else. Besides, were just… » she trails off, not sure she feels comfortable talking openly with Jenny about her brother’s sex life._ _

__« Fucking? » Jenny tries and Jaz appreciate her bluntness._ _

__« Yeah, »_ _

__« So you're telling me you two have been holed up in this cabin for five weeks, doing nothing but fucking each other? » Jenny quirks an eyebrow in Jaz direction, looking so much like Adam it stalls her breath in her throat._ _

__‘« No, we did other things. We did a bit of hiking, boating...we tried to tame down Patton, » Jaz concedes, seeing exactly where Jenny is bringing this._ _

__Jenny stays silent, but she has a knowing look on her face. « It’s alright if you love him, » she says. « I'm pretty sure he loves you too, »_ _

__Jaz inhales sharply. Does she love Adam? Sure. Absolutely. _Can she love Adam? _The answer isn't really one she wants to hear. « We’re...complicated. Work is...also complicated, »___ _

____She thinks of Adam and her pairing up in the field, Adam cradling her head when he rescued her from Tehran. Jaz goes back to the way she held him when Patricia’s son died, when they both woke up in his bed the next morning. she thinks of how she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything when Lance kissed her, of the way his eyes undressed her when she wore that black bikini at Preach’s on their last leave. They’ve had their fair share of grief and, somehow, opening her heart to him seems like the easiest way to get even more hurt._ _ _ _

____« Look, I don’t know everything about your work and I understand there are some things you can't talk about, but I know one thing. I've never seen my brother look at anyone the way he looks at you, »_ _ _ _

____Adam’s car rolls down on the grass and Patton jumps excitedly around it._ _ _ _

____« I swear this damn dog is going to get hit someday, » grumbles Jaz, grateful for the interruption._ _ _ _

____Jenny laughs and says something about Adam being too soft on him and Jaz decides right there that she likes Adam’s sister._ _ _ _

____After lunch, Adam tugs her on his lap and she doesn’t hesitate to sink into it. His thumb trails over her arm and it should feel weird to show him affection in front of someone else, but it doesn’t. Jaz’s isn’t sure if it’s because it’s only Adam’s sister, or if it’s Jenny’s words making a bigger impact than she’d thought._ _ _ _

____« What do you say you and I go on a date? » he asks against her shoulder once Jenny’s gone._ _ _ _

____Jaz cranes her neck so her eyes are leveled with his. « What? »_ _ _ _

____« A date, » repeats Adam. « We clean ourselves up and go in town to grab a bite, do some dancing or catch a movie, »_ _ _ _

____« You dance? » Jaz quips and Adam rolls his eyes, tugging her closer._ _ _ _

____« Whatever, stop changing the subject, » he orders before kissing her. « I want to take you out, »_ _ _ _

____Jaz thinks of the red dress, still carefully wrapped and sitting at the bottom of her go bag. She could always pull it out, show off a little bit for Adam. But going on a date is the equivalent of putting a label on it and she’s not sure just how much they’re ready to do so._ _ _ _

____But he looks at her with those blue eyes she’s never been able to resist so she nods and he peppers her face with kisses until she squeals. It feels oddly couple-y, so different than what they’ve been doing for the past weeks and Jaz likes it, that changing tide._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____xxxxx_ _ _ _

____ _ _

____She ends ups putting on the red dress and, just like Kate said it would, it makes Adam do a double take. He tells her how beautiful she is and his hands don’t stop touching her the whole night long._ _ _ _

____They go to this restaurant that Jaz deems too fancy, but Adam insists that she deserves the world and he looks at her with those loving eyes that make her relent. The food _is _good, Jaz has to admit. Not to mention that the view is not bad either. So they enjoy themselves and end up playing footsie under the table. It’s the most normal thing Jaz has ever done in the romantic department and she loves it. Even Lance, with his perfect dates and thoughtful plans didn’t manage to make her feel this way.___ _ _ _

______Once they’re done, they find that there is no place open for dancing on a Tuesday night, and none of the movies interest them so they buy a pot of Haagen Dazs ice cream and decide to share it back at the cabin._ _ _ _ _ _

______« Let’s go home, » Adam says, tugging at her hand and her heart lurches in her chest as he says it. _Home _. Like the cabin is theirs.___ _ _ _ _ _

________She settles in his arms in front of the fireplace with the ice cream pot and two spoons. Adam kisses the side of her neck, and Jaz sighs with contentment, letting herself relax into him. It feels nice, the two of them together without a care in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« How did you find Jenny? » Adam asks, nose burried into her hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« She’s nice, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« She’s something, » he jests, shaking his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« Oh yeah, there’s a definite Dalton attitude there, » concedes Jaz, smiling as Adam runs his fingers down her hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« Dalton attitude? » he questions, and Jaz’s eyes shine with mirth as she turns to him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________« You know, the _get in your face I know better than you _way of seeing the world, » Jaz winks at him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« What exactly did she tell you when I was gone? » he asks, suddenly looking uneasy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Jaz slants her eyes sideways, trying to escape his gaze. She can’t lie to him, never has been able to do it. But she also can’t tell him what Jenny said. Because there’s no way this can really work, the two of them. « Jaz, » he presses on and he grabs her chin, forcing her to look at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« She told me you love me, » Jaz mutters eventually. Her breaths come in and out shakily and she wishes, not for the first time, that she was able to lie to Adam._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« I do love you. » He says it like a fact. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Jaz feels something break inside of her because it’s all she’s ever wanted to hear, yet she knows they don’t have the right to have those feelings._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« We can’t, » she whispers and Adam gets them up and turns her around in his arms so she’s facing him. She’s never seen his eyes look so desperate, so dark._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« I don’t care, Jaz. I love you. I've loved you for the last three years and I’ll love you as long as you let me stay by your side, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Jaz closes her eyes, feeling the tears mounting. « You say that now, but we'll be back to Turkey in three weeks, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Adam kisses her. It’s as desperate as his eyes, his mouth seeking hers with an intensity she still hasn’t been subjected to. « We’ll find a way, » he halts against her lips, tugging at her hand to seat them back on the couch cushion they’ve propped on the floor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« I don’t want us to be on different teams, » Jaz whines. It feels childish to whine, but she needs him like she’s never needed anything and she doesn’t see herself doing this job without him. Not anymore._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Adam presses his mouth to the side of her head. « Me neither. We'll find a way to bend the rules until we can't take it anymore, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« And then what? »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« And then I retire. I’ll find you all a new co and you'll have a husband, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________His words are meant to be loving, she knows, but she still freezes and stays perfectly still, like a deer caught in headlights. She angles her face so he can’t see her, eyes fixed on the flames in front of her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Adam runs a hand over her spine. « Or a boyfriend if that’s what you want, » his voice is softer, weaker, handling her with care._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She turns her head to him « You want to marry me? »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He nods and she wonders how in the world they went from fucking without addressing their situation to talking about marriage in the span of a day. Jaz knows why. Jenny happened. The Dalton attitude happened._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« I want you, all of you, forever, » he says and Jaz’s heart soars in her chest. Suddenly, all that love she’s carried for Adam in the past years resurfaces, bubbling angrily and madly against things that are usually stronger. Like reason and sanity._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« I love you, Adam, » she whispers, afraid to speak louder. It feels like a dream and she doesn’t want to wake up, so she speaks in soft voices, cupping his cheek with a trembling hand. « I want that with you. Everything, »_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________« The minute I retire I’m bringing you to the nearest church, » Adam declares before kissing her as she laughs at his antics._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and reviews are always appreciated :) 
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr and twitter (sybond and @bond_syd)


	3. Leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leave is ending and Jaz has some trouble accepting that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I promised Amanda ;)

“Adam,” pants Jaz as she rolls her hips into his, trying to fire up the friction. “I need-”

“Shh-” Adam cuts her. His hand drifts down her slick belly and her eyes roll over. “I know what you need,” His thumb pushes on her clit, firm and steady and before long she’s crying out his name, her thighs clenching around his waist as she throws her head behind. 

“That’s it, babe,” he says as he watches her back arching in the dim light of the fireplace. His fingers dig deeper into her hips as he fucks her through her orgasm, feeling himself getting closer just by seeing her explode. Jaz coming is a sight he’ll never get tired of and it’s so unbelievingly hot, all he wants is for her to come all day every day. “Jaz,” he groans as she slams herself down on his cock, hell bent on bringing him down with her. 

Jaz keeps on moving her body over his as he spills inside of her and she grins at his pained face, bending over to kiss him. “Good?” she asks, eyes twinkling. 

“Better than dancing,” Adam winks and Jaz makes an annoyed sound as she rolls them over to disentangle their limbs. 

They’ve just come back from hitting the town’s only dance-friendly bar, and to say that Jaz had the time of her life would be an understatement. She’s been the life of the party, clad into a too-tight and too-short skirt that would have made Adam growl and bitch about how inappropriate her outfit was when they were at the base. Back when they weren’t dating. 

Now, he’s more than happy to see Jaz wearing these clothes when she’s hanging on his arm. 

“I have to admit I didn’t really think you could dance,” Jaz chuckles. She’s laying down on top of the covers, her fingers trailing down his spine as he takes care of the condom. 

“You have so little faith in me,” Adam rolls over on the mattress, grasping for her and he notices Jaz’s smile faltering a little. 

“What’s the matter?” he asks, his fingers seeking her cheek.

“Nothing. It’s just- it’s our last night,” Jaz slants her eyes sideways, avoiding his gaze. 

“Here, but it won’t be our last,”

This time her eyes meet his. They’re big and dark and abnormally shiny. “You sure about that?”

He’s never pegged her for insecure about this. He’s noticed how she’s been growing distant as they neared the start of the next deployment and he found her staring into empty space a lot, hugging herself and wrapped into one of his wool blankets, looking nothing but secure. Adam wants to use the same tactics he’s tried for the past three weeks, but tonight something snaps. 

“Really Jaz?” 

Adam has told her time and time again how much he loves her. How she’s his present, his future, his everything, but she still resists him, even after she nods every time he tells her she’s stuck with him forever. 

“Adam-” she starts, but her eyes are brimming with tears and even that doesn’t make him back off. 

“I want you Jaz. I want you and me together until we grow old. What’s so hard to understand?” Adam repeats. He feels like he keeps repeating himself these days. With Jaz looking like she doesn’t believe they can actually work every other day, it’s hard for him not to lose patience. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Adam knows the real problem is more deeply rooted than this, this relationship of theirs. It goes way back to the way her parents abused her, the way she managed to fight and survive by shielding herself with the thickest barriers she could build. Still, he’s ashamed to say he snaps. Because he loves her more than he’s ever loved anyone, and no matter how many times he tells her, she doesn’t seem to believe him. 

She looks angry. Her arms are protectively wrapped around herself and she storms out of the cabin, her heels marteling the floor with rage. That’s when he knows it’s bad. Because the Jaz he knows never backs away from a fight. 

Adam drops his face into his hands. This is not how he expected their last night to go. He knows Jaz is insecure about this being loved thing, but he honestly thought they’d made some progress. To hear her question the viability of their future hurts him more than she can understand. 

He grabs two afghans from the couch, storming out of the cabin, looking for her. He finds her next to the firepit, curled into a tight ball. Her long black hair shines under the moonlight, enveloping her like a curtain. Adam knows by the way her shoulders are shaking that she’s crying. 

He closes his eyes for a second, wondering how this night turned out so ugly so bad. “Jazzy,” he whispers as he drops next to her. He wraps an arm around her back and her shoulders stop shaking, but her head stays buried between her knees. “Hun, I love you, more than anything in this world,” he keeps on going, tugging her closer to the cradle of his body. He wraps the throw over both of them, trying to fend of the chilly summer air and the mosquitoes which are vicious at this time of the year. 

“Do you want kids?” Jaz asks suddenly and it takes him by surprise. She raises her head, but she doesn’t look at him. Instead, she stares at the stars and continues her train of thoughts. “I know what you told Preach, but…” 

“I told him the same as you did,” starts Adam, even though his answer has changed in the past few months. If he’s being honest with himself, he has to admit it changed the moment he held her bloodied form against him in that van in Tehran. One look at Jaz tells him he’s not the only one who set his hopes up on something more. “But you changed your mind,”

“I don’t want to force anything on you,” she whispers miserably. “This is way too complicated, Top. You and I together is against the rules and I want a family, whereas you-”

He kisses her, hard and passionate. “I meant it when I told Preach I didn’t want the family thing, because I never thought I could be loved. But you came and- And you’re the only one I want to have kids with,” 

“Adam,” she warns and Adam tightens his grip on her because she’s shaking like an autumn leaf. She thinks he’s trying to make her stay, because that’s what Jaz does. She assumes people don’t want to be with her. 

“I mean it. Let’s start a family, you and I. Don’t you want a mini-Jaz running around the yard?” Adam kisses the side of her neck, nuzzling her ear, making her smile coily as she tucks her chin down. 

Jaz laughs softly at the image he’s painting for her. “You’re in for a run for your money,”

“I’ll do anything with you by my side,” Adam confesses. She stares at him with her still too-shiny eyes, but she nods, lips pinched together in the way she did when she tried not to cry at Elijah’s funeral. 

Jaz kisses him, hanging on to him like a boat to a lighthouse in the night. Her breaths come out shaky and Adam helps her settle between his legs so she’s leaning back against his chest. 

Wrapped in a ridiculous number of blankets, they stay huddled like that under the stars until they absolutely have to go to sleep. Adam stares at this beautiful, amazingly strong and bull-headed girl who just burst into his life three years ago and he can’t believe his luck. 

He’s found his home. 

 

xxxxx

 

That night Jaz stays awake in Adam’s arms, listening to the sound of his breathing. He’s sleeping, looking peaceful and at ease and just not like the Adam he is back in Incirlik. CO Top is always on top of things, analyzing, planning, worrying. 

Jaz is going to miss her Adam, the one only she knows, when they get to Turkey. 

Her phone beeps, illuminating the room for a second before it goes back to pitch black and Jaz stretches her arm to look at the incoming message. 

It’s from Kate, a single line. 

_Good luck out there! Come say hi when you come back :) ___

__Jaz stares at the screen, remembering her first conversation with Kate once she’d arrived in Pennsylvania._ _

___”So, did the dress work?” Kate asked, voice tinged with excitement. ____ _

_____“I haven’t tried it yet,” admitted Jaz. She had a smile on her face the size of Texas, still blissfully happy because of the last few days. ____ _ _ _

_______The last few days she’d just spent in Adam’s arms, rolling around on his bed until they were too exhausted to keep going. And when that was done, they usually wrapped themselves into each other’s arms with thick wool blankets in front of the fire, gazing at the stars. ____ _ _ _ _ _

_________It was under those same stars that Jaz stood, still unsure which cluster made Cassiopeia. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“How come?” Kate asked. “We talked about this Jaz, you have to try if you really want to know,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________“I didn’t say I didn’t try,” chuckled Jaz and she heard Kate squeal with glee on her side of the line. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________“Oh my gosh, tell me everything. Also I saw Lance at church yesterday and he wants to know if you finally ended up with your hot CO,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Jaz raised an eyebrow at the sky. “Lance asked about my hot CO?” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________“I might have added the hot part, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is one yummy thing, Jaz,” sighed Elijah’s sister. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________“Yeah he is,” Jaz sing-songed. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________“Ok spill,” bursted Kate. “And tell me everything, like is he a good kisser?” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________“What do you think?” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________“I think he’s amazing, what about in bed?” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________Jaz let out a throaty laugh and her cheeks flamed up as she admitted the truth. “He’s better than good,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________________“Better than Lance?” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________________________“Infinitely so,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________________________“Oh God,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________________________“Yeah,” shuddered Jaz. Her body still held the marks of their lovemaking, her skin still feeling the ghosts of his touch. Never in her life had Jaz been touched and loved and lavished the way Adam had. Never had she been subjected to such passion, such brute force and commitment and it felt pretty good. Her insides clenched at the thought of Adam inside of her, Adam moving against her body, Adam going at it until she screamed. “Like you said,” ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________xxxxx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________The next day they pack everything they own -which admittedly is not a lot- into a few duffel bags and lock down the cabin. Jaz swings their bags in the bed of his pick-up truck while Adam makes sure everything is in order before ushering the dog into the truck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________They stop at Jenny’s apartment to say goodbye and Jaz slips in the bathroom for a few minutes because she wants to give them privacy as they say their goodbyes. When she comes back after purposefully making a clatter to warn them of her impending arrival, she finds that Jenny’s eyes are rimmed with red. She’s smiling even though she looks on the verge of bursting in tears, and she hugs Jaz in a fierce way. Jaz stares at Adam over Jenny’s shoulder, unsure what to do, and Adam just grins at her, a knowing look on his face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________And so they end up on the road to DC, ready for another year of missions and ops. Truth be told, Jaz can’t wait to see the guys again. There’s a part of her that’s very worried about where she and Adam are going, but his hand grabs hers over the holster and his fingers lace with hers and for a moment, there’s not a worry in her mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Adam stops the car before they get too close to the DIA. It’s in a random parking lot, a grocery store she knows nothing about, where normal families are making their weekly food trip on a sunny saturday. Jaz glances at Adam, inquisitive, and he grabs the back of her head, slamming her lips to his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She opens her mouth under Adam’s, letting him do whatever he wants, take whatever he needs. When they break off with heaving chests, Adam’s hand stays on the back of Jaz’s head, his face close to hers. His eyes are closed and she stares at his face for a few seconds, trying to decipher what’s going on in his mind. She usually can do it without looking at him; it’s something that makes them such a great pair on the field. But right now, as hard as she tries, Jaz really doesn’t know what’s running through this mind of his._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I love you,” he finally whispers, his grip on her hair tightening._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I love you too,” Jaz replies. She palms his cheek, letting her fingers get lost in his overgrown beard. He’ll need to shave it down a little once they get back to Turkey, but she likes it at this length. It makes him look a little rugged, more relaxed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I need you to know that, Jaz,” Adam keeps on going. “It’s going to be different back at the Quonset. We won’t be able to do everything like at the cabin, but I need you to remember I love you and that I want to be with you,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Her breath stutters as her heartbeat rises. Jaz never would have thought she would one day be so loved, that she’d be able to share her life with someone as kind and perfect as Adam Dalton._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I do, I will. I love you Adam,” Jaz holds on to his name, because it’s one of the last times she’ll be able to say it in public. Now he’ll be going back to being Top and she’ll go back to being Jaz the ninja. It won’t be Jazzy, or hun, or babe, or any other pet name he’s given her during leave._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Adam starts back the truck when Patton starts to whine and they realize they’ll be late if they don’t get this going._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________The whole team is already there when they arrive, chatting animatedly about their adventures of the last few months. Jaz lets Patton run up to them, which causes enough commotion to let her and Adam grasple with their emotions and get their composure back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Jaz retrieves her bags from the bed of Adam’s truck and he does the same with his. His hand goes for the small of her back and Jaz catches Amir looking at them and automatically, she knows they’ve already failed. Not even one minute in and they’ve already slipped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She pushes past Adam and heads for the guys, letting McG hug her with such enthusiasm he sweeps her off her feet. Jaz laughs and demands he puts her back down before she moves to Preach and Amir._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________The guys already knew she’s been holed up at the cabin for most of the summer. Jaz also took time to visit each and everyone of them before ending up at Adam’s place, but he’s the only one she stayed with for more than one or two weeks. She knows they’re burning to ask questions, but she and Adam keep their distance from each other and it seems to put some water on the fire._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________xxxxx_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Later that night, once they’ve finished settling back into the hut with full bellies (Amir went a little overboard on the homecoming meal), Jaz goes back to her room and unpacks her belongings. She sits on the edge of her bed, toying with the colorful throw, and wonders how she’ll ever be able to fall asleep without Adam. He’s right next to her, so close yet so far and it kills her that she can’t go to bed with his arms around her and his beard tickling her face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________They both knew what was happening, what they were getting into, so Jaz tells herself it’s all she deserves for falling in love with her CO and tucks herself into bed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She closes her bedside lamp and stares at the ceiling, willing sleep to come._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________It doesn’t. She hears McG’s snores, Amir’s quiet breathing and Preach’s profound rolling breaths, but she can’t get herself to fall asleep.  
Her door creaks open and she sits up, looking as Adam makes his way inside her room. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“Couldn’t sleep either?” he asks and she nods in response, scooting back on the mattress to give him some place._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Adam slips under her covers, gathering her against his body. Their lips find each other in no time, and Jaz clings to him a little more desperately than she usually does._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“I can’t stay here all night, Hun,” he whispers against her lips._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________Jaz lets out a shaky breath. “I know,” she admits, a little bitterly. “Can you stay until I fall asleep?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________“That I can do,” Adam kisses her forehead. “We’ll make it work, Jazzy. We’ll find a way to make it work,”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________________________She believes him, mostly because they have no other choice and Adam has never lied to her. Jaz falls asleep snuggled into him, telling herself she can still have this for tonight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a few more one shots to this series, at least as long as inspiration keeps striking :p
> 
> Comments are my love language. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr sydbond and twitter @bond_syd, come and say hi!


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